I’ve spent a lot of my life chasing someone else’s version of “the right path.” Perhaps it came with my Chinese-American upbringing, and the reinforcement of "cute obedience" as good. Or perhaps it was the American education system and its reinforcement of meritocracy and achievement.

Perhaps both...

Whatever the cause, it started innocently enough—mentors, teachers, spiritual guides telling me what they saw in me, what I “should” do, what I was “meant” for. People who saw my hard work, my drive and my hunger for approval and guidance, and who in all likelihood believed they were guiding me in my best interests.

But somewhere along the way, I stopped trusting my own voice.

That's what happens when you try to get by in life by listening to everyone else's advice but your own. When you stop listening to your own desires because you let everyone else speak for you first. 

I remember sitting across from one of my Ayurvedic professors, someone I deeply respected, who told me I needed more. More certifications. More letters after my name. More proof that I was qualified.

At the time, I believed them. So I kept going.

A master’s degree. Additional trainings. More boxes to check.

And still—I never felt closer to myself. I just felt more tangled. More exhausted. And less and less enough. 

But apparently I wasn't done looking for the answers outside of myself. Surely what I actually wanted was delusional and not worth considering. So I still chased. And I felt like my soul was dying, but for some reason I kept falling into the trap of not enough.

Then came the astrologer.

We were at a conference. She gave me a Vedic astrology reading that, on the surface, sounded wise and spiritual. But what she told me felt completely disconnected from my truth.

She said I was meant to work with the elderly. With people who were really sick. That I should become an Ayurvedic clinician and devote my life to that work. That I needed to face some cardinal direction and chant in the mornings or something sounding equally as ridiculous. 

I remember nodding politely, trying to be open. But inside? I was furious. I felt a visceral rage in my gut.

Not because I didn’t respect her craft. Not because what she was telling me didn't sound like a noble path.

But because my body knew that path wasn’t mine. 

If I am to be completely honest, in my mind in that moment, I screamed "F*ck THAT!". And for as long as I live, I'm not going to be sorry for that thought.

Because here's what was going on. At that time in my life, I was actually actively stepping away from clinical work. I was reclaiming my creativity. I was rediscovering pleasure, expression, soul-led service. And yet—there I was, once again, swallowing someone else’s script about my life.

It took years for me to fully see the pattern.

The way I’d been conditioned to defer to authority, to override my own instincts, to be “coachable” at the expense of being sovereign.

And now?

Now I’m done.

I no longer perform alignment for the sake of fitting someone else’s mold.

I no longer stay silent when my truth wants to speak.

And I no longer treat other people’s frameworks as more valid than my body’s knowing.

If you’re reading this and it hits—if you’ve taken paths that weren’t yours because someone “wise” told you to…

If you’ve swallowed your truth because you didn’t want to offend, disappoint, or disrupt…

I want you to know: you’re not wrong. You’re not broken.

And you’re not late.

You’re right on time to reclaim your inner authority.

You get to choose how you live, how you lead, and how you create.

And if you’re craving support that honors your own truth—not someone else’s projection—I’m here for that.

This is the work I do now.

Not to give you answers.

But to hold space while you remember your own.