[00:00] Valerie: Rise, renew,
[00:01] reconnect.
[00:03] Welcome to from the Ashes, a podcast where bold conversations empower healing and authentic, vibrant living.
[00:09] I'm your host, Valerie Huang Beck, and I'm on a mission to evolve the dialogue that moves humanity harmoniously forward.
[00:17] Tarna: And the fire in the darkest night of Phoenix Birds, it's ready for flight. Shadows may come try to tear you apart.
[00:28] Valerie: Hey, everyone. Welcome back to from the Ashes podcast.
[00:32] Today is a special edition because I have a dear friend of mine that I've gotten to know over the past couple of years, actually, Tarna Fuller. She is a fellow Ayurvedic practitioner and the founder of Lotus Honey Health.
[00:46] But we're going to keep this conversation today pretty personal,
[00:50] and it's going to be around the theme of recognizing patterns that no longer serve us and also a level of self mastery.
[01:01] Tarna: Right.
[01:01] Valerie: Because we're never. We've never really arrived.
[01:04] We're always learning about ourselves. And both Tarnav and I have been on this path together for a while, kind of uncovering the layers of what is not us and becoming more of ourselves.
[01:17] So welcome. Turn it to the show.
[01:20] Tarna: Thank you so much. I'm glad to be here.
[01:22] Valerie: Yay.
[01:23] So,
[01:24] you know, we don't arrive at becoming helpers,
[01:31] healers without really going through some of the deepest, darkest, most painful journeys ourselves. And I think you are no exception to that.
[01:41] I know a little bit about your story, but I'm hoping that we'll dig a little bit more into that today to see, like, you know, what it really takes for someone to.
[01:54] To really change and also, like, to overcome some really difficult circumstances.
[02:01] So why don't we just start a little bit with who you are and where you came from.
[02:06] Tarna: Who am I? That's a. That's a hugely loaded question.
[02:10] Ever evolving.
[02:14] The. The. Where I came from is a little bit easier, so I'm going to go that direction.
[02:17] Valerie: Yeah.
[02:19] Tarna: My parents, when I grew up were. They were. They were divorced. My single dad raised me for a good chunk of time, and then I moved in with my mom and my.
[02:27] My stepdad,
[02:29] and they. I remember in my childhood, there were. There were some. Definitely some tough times, like, times when we didn't have water or,
[02:37] you know, we would have, like, a free month of cable. And I felt like we were rich, you know, or we got to order a pizza or. Or eat at McDonald's and like the.
[02:45] Or the $1 Whoppers. I don't know if you remember those, but that was kind of the.
[02:49] That was kind of the. The. Where we were. I mean, sometimes it was.
[02:53] I. This is kind of gross, but like, sometimes you'd have to **** in jugs because with water situation.
[03:00] So.
[03:00] And this was, you know, growing up in. In a small town. Small, not so small anymore, but small town in Texas. And you know, in that period,
[03:09] some of my formative years,
[03:12] there was a lot of abuse.
[03:13] I think when you talk about the darkness,
[03:16] there was.
[03:17] There was a lot of heaviness. There was a lot of.
[03:21] A lot of times where,
[03:23] you know, I've had conversations about death and, you know, I'm like, well, I'm not afraid of death because there were times when I wondered, you know, what was going to happen.
[03:31] There's a lot of sexual abuse to avoid physical abuse and things like that. Right.
[03:36] So just kind of coming from that. And there was also a lot of, you know, I was introduced to Buddhism, Nichiren Daishonin's Buddhism at a young age as well.
[03:44] And then I had neighbors or family, friends or people who would say, hey, here's this shirt. I remember this one shirt I had that had these two kids crossing a bridge.
[03:53] And it's a famous picture and there's this angel watching over the kids.
[03:58] And that image always stuck with me. Like, I just always knew there's. There's some kind of something regardless of, you know, what you want to call that belief that everything was as it was supposed to be.
[04:09] And so kind of coming from this like, blend of like really, really dark and then also really, really bright. I think I,
[04:19] like, I. I think I had a. Had, you know, having that was a good.
[04:22] Is a good piece.
[04:24] But there are a lot of lessons that I learned in that time to where it's like fast forwarding to now and I, I go back that far because that's what I'm working with currently.
[04:34] Yeah, you know, there's a. Of stuff that happened in between.
[04:37] Lots of growth, lots of life lessons.
[04:39] But some of the things that have come from that is,
[04:43] you know, I'm trying to. I'm working. I've been working on growing my own business for a few years now and. Or for a couple years. And I see struggles. I see areas where,
[04:53] you know, and I haven't really talked a lot about the trauma piece and it's actually been holding me back.
[05:00] And I have come actually just in the past few months, looking at it as more how can sharing my story help someone else?
[05:10] And so that's what I want to do. That's what I'm trying to do.
[05:14] But I also recognize that it. It's Been layers and layers. So right now, the layer that I'm working on is this shrinking I've worked on.
[05:22] And I. When I say I've worked on, I don't mean mastered. That is not what I'm saying.
[05:27] Worked on, like, feeling not enough and what that looks like. And now I realize I. I shrink myself a lot.
[05:33] And that came from that period in.
[05:36] In time. Right. So now I am a mom of five kids. I'm married.
[05:41] You know, I also work at the hospital.
[05:43] Life is good.
[05:45] There's hiccups. It's not, you know, there's. There's things day to day,
[05:49] but it's. Life is good, right? Yeah. But I still think myself.
[05:52] I still have moments where maybe,
[05:56] maybe somebody else is upset,
[05:58] and I'm like, okay, I need to be small. How can I appease them? How can I make them happy? Because when I was a kid,
[06:03] that was a survival thing. I didn't want to be seen. I didn't want to be a part. I didn't want to be noticed in those moments.
[06:10] And now I'm trying to build a business and I'm over here, like, look at me.
[06:15] Oh, wait, don't look too close.
[06:16] You know, and I recognize the tats.
[06:20] Something that I'm like, oh,
[06:22] I. I met this place where I. I need to commit to myself, to fully show up with authenticity.
[06:30] And so that's a little bit about, you know,
[06:32] as succinct as I can make it, I think,
[06:35] where I came from and then what I'm currently working on. Like I said, there's a whole bunch in between, but,
[06:41] yeah, Ayurveda yoga, there have been tons of tools in between that have helped me get to this point.
[06:48] Valerie: All right, so there are a couple of things that I want to ask you about, but I think the first one is that you say that you're still working on yourself, and I think we all are.
[07:01] But,
[07:02] you know, we also can't ignore the fact that you have gotten yourself this far and that you have raised five kids and that you do work at the hospital and that you, you know, like, you're able to support not only yourself, but your family, and that that's no small feat.
[07:18] So when you look back at your life,
[07:22] what was the first time? Do you feel like you decided to do something so radically different and that you no longer wanted to tolerate,
[07:33] like, where you were at?
[07:36] Tarna: Ooh,
[07:37] gosh,
[07:38] I. And it's not a. This isn't. And I have to think about it. It's just that moment,
[07:44] it was A moment.
[07:46] So some backstory with that. After I got out of the situation that I described,
[07:52] I had a boyfriend and we ended up getting married. And he was great husband. He was. He was super sweet.
[08:00] And I didn't know how to love myself.
[08:06] And I.
[08:09] I had no ambition, I had no goals. I was just,
[08:13] yay. I found true love. This is awesome.
[08:16] And now what?
[08:17] Valerie: This is it.
[08:18] Tarna: Okay.
[08:19] Well, we moved away to Phoenix, Arizona, by ourselves. No family, no. No anybody. And two months later got pregnant.
[08:27] He was going to school at the Art Institute because he. He knew what he wanted. He had a plan, he was focused. He, like, I'm going to be a Catholic art game.
[08:34] Art design.
[08:34] It did switch to graphic art design, but that's still way more focused than I could even dream of. And I remember feeling like, how does he know so clearly what he wants to do?
[08:46] Like, I'm just.
[08:47] I'm still in that survival mode and in the state of, like, I don't even know if I'm going to be here tomorrow. You know, like, it just was a thing.
[08:55] And we got pregnant with the twins.
[08:58] And my twins are. They're 22 now, so, you know, going way back.
[09:02] And I went through a period. I went through a period of kind of this depression. Like, he would be at work, he had his goals,
[09:09] and I just. I mean, I would cook and clean. I was trying to be the housewife he never asked for, but.
[09:15] Because I didn't know what else to do with myself.
[09:17] But I. I finally, I think was able to feel the heaviness and the lack of purpose and, I mean, this gaping lack of purpose surface. Yeah.
[09:28] And even through my pregnancy,
[09:30] and then when I had the twins,
[09:34] it was a. It was a very painful birth. It was a C section and it was like 2 o' clock in the morning.
[09:39] And I remember they were like, oh, it's just your organs moving, moving down. Because I remember it just hurt so bad. I was dry heaving. It was.
[09:46] I was like, oh, this is. This is moms when they die in childbirth. Okay, so this is the end of my life. And it wasn't. Obviously, here I am.
[09:53] And I couldn't even look over at the boys. And they carried them away.
[09:58] And I survived.
[10:00] And that wasn't really that. I mean, it was painful in my body and for me. But then they brought the boys to me. And my husband had carried the. At the time, had carried the.
[10:10] Carried Jason, which is one of my twins.
[10:12] But nobody had held Jeremiah. And I remember thinking, okay, nobody's held him yet. I need to make this fair. So I'm going to hold him. And I held Jeremiah and I looked down at his eyes, this little newborn just looking up at me.
[10:24] Just so I remember his eyes were open and he just had this trust.
[10:31] And I remember.
[10:33] I remember thinking,
[10:35] I don't know what I'm doing,
[10:37] but I'm gonna do it.
[10:38] I'm going to make sure you're taken care of. And then I held Jason,
[10:43] and his eyes, he just had this, like, skepticism.
[10:49] Are you sure?
[10:50] Are you. This is. Are you sure? I'm supposed to,
[10:52] you know, and that's just my. Probably my interpretations, you know, at the time. But I remember, like, I was holding them, the two of them,
[10:59] and I was having my moment. And I remember their dad said,
[11:03] how can somebody not believe in a higher power?
[11:06] Oh, his word was God at the time. But, like, I just. And that was like, I. I've got to do something for them.
[11:13] I'd love to say. And so then I had them and then I went and I kicked *** and I did all these things, but that's not what happened. I had them and I was like, okay,
[11:21] I'm in a sleep late. Oh, they're interfering with my sleep. And, oh, this is twins. This is. How do I take care of them?
[11:27] And. But I was, I was still had that determination of, I'm going to make sure they are taken care of.
[11:34] And then, you know, fast forward. I had my. My third child,
[11:37] my now 15 year old, and I had him.
[11:40] So I was actually at.
[11:42] And I mean, this might not surprise anybody after sharing what I've shared with my childhood stuff, but I was at a women's protective shelter and he was a baby. And so I had the three kids now,
[11:53] and somebody came in and they said, oh, well, you can get scholarships to go to school.
[11:59] And I. It was like that period, I was like, I'm not.
[12:03] I need to step it up.
[12:05] And I think that's where.
[12:08] So it was two moments, I guess, but that's where I was like, I need to step it up. This is not a kind of life for them. This is. They deserve better.
[12:15] They don't need to experience anything near what I went through.
[12:19] And I'm going to do better for them. And I feel like that's where my shifts began into this greater purpose.
[12:29] So. Yeah.
[12:30] Valerie: Yeah.
[12:31] Thank you for sharing.
[12:34] You know, we were talking earlier about shrinking self and this tendency that you say that you have about shrinking self. And sometimes we have those moments where it doesn't seem to matter so much,
[12:46] where it's like, I'm gonna do this,
[12:49] and it doesn't matter what, you know, anyone says, and we're just gonna go.
[12:54] It's what our mentor Kate probably would call, like, our.
[12:57] Are fractal. Right. There's, like, those moments where we just decide.
[13:04] And leading up to those, there are always struggles. There's always, like, these things that we have to do, like actions that needs to be taken.
[13:11] But oftentimes I find that the.
[13:13] The actual switch moment are. Are these very subtle shifts.
[13:19] Would you agree with that?
[13:22] Tarna: Yeah,
[13:23] I think so. The shrinking. So I'd love to say that, you know, that was.
[13:28] I did great after that. Right. Which is what I was saying with the twins.
[13:31] But, no, it was. It's. It's layers. I don't know if it's a. It's necessarily always a subtle shift.
[13:37] Valerie: Yeah.
[13:38] Tarna: Because having a kid's kind of a big thing,
[13:42] like, now having a third or fourth, fifth,
[13:46] you know, it's a little more like, all right, I got this.
[13:49] But.
[13:50] Yeah, but a lot of the shifts have been subtle. They've been these little things that I didn't necessarily notice at the time.
[13:58] And then I look back, and I think, yeah, that's. If that hadn't have happened, this wouldn't have happened.
[14:05] So.
[14:06] Valerie: Yeah, you mentioned before that you're exploring now because you keep saying, like, but it wasn't, like, everything was hunky dory after.
[14:15] You know, I think this. This idea that we're gonna have this aha moment and then everything is gonna be so wonderful afterwards is a myth.
[14:28] Tarna: I.
[14:30] Valerie: Or, like, a social media, like, influencer thing to kind of sell you.
[14:34] Right. Like, there's. It just feels like it's not quite that ever.
[14:41] We never get to a point where it's like, everything is just magical from here on out.
[14:47] And I love that you're being so honest with yourself in that, because I feel like. Because we've kind of been conditioned to expect the magical fairy tale ending in some way, shape, or form when, like, this little thing happens.
[15:03] It's just gonna be great.
[15:05] It sets us up for a lot of heartbreak and disappointment,
[15:09] and part of the journey is to learn how to navigate that. How to navigate, like,
[15:18] the grace of. Of forgiving ourselves and, like, not being where we want to be and. And also not giving up.
[15:26] Right.
[15:27] We could easily be like, oh, well, it didn't happen for me, so what's the point in trying?
[15:32] So my question to you is,
[15:35] what is keeping you going when you don't achieve what you want in the time that you want it?
[15:41] What are you telling yourself in those moments?
[15:44] Tarna: So I'm going to answer that, but I also want to go back to what you were saying about,
[15:49] you know, we have these shifts. And it's not that it's, it's. It's not like this grand like Cinderella moment or whatever. Right.
[15:58] One of the things that I have found really helpful, and you mentioned Kate and doing the fractals is really taking time. And you know, with Kate, we get to do it every quarter,
[16:09] and that's awesome. Is that getting to take time to intentionally make the, you know, make these little steps for. And they are, they're little steps. It feels momentous at the moment.
[16:18] It's. For me, anyway. I mean, it feels momentous. It's like I'm gonna get up early at 5am,
[16:25] an hour before my daughter, and I'm gonna do the things. And then it's like a week later I'm not doing the things and I'm like, I fail.
[16:32] But then when I go back to it three months later, I'm like, oh. But I found these other ways around it because I was determined.
[16:39] And so I think that determination, that determination is really key. But also I think there is something to be said about learning tools to make it intentional too.
[16:49] And, you know, that's been helpful. It's not always intentional. Sometimes things just kind of come out of the water and you're just like, oh, this is what I'm working on now,
[16:58] like for me with shrinking myself and with using my voice,
[17:01] but in regards to what keeps me going. So it started with my kids.
[17:07] Somewhere along the way,
[17:09] I.
[17:11] Somewhere along the way I started to actually love myself and I started to actually care about myself and started taking care of my body more.
[17:20] I mean, it was through a lot of the patterns that I was repeating until I would like,
[17:25] oh, I need to stop doing this. Oh, I need to stop doing this.
[17:30] And then I. I pursued yoga. For me, yoga was a huge help in learning my self love piece. Right.
[17:36] So now, I mean, it's like when my kids grow up and they're out of the house, what's going to keep me going?
[17:42] Well, I want to make a better world for them. I want to make an impact.
[17:46] And I think finding that greater purpose and that's for me,
[17:50] it's. I want to make an impact. I want to help others to step up into their full power.
[17:57] And that requires me stepping into my full power. And, oh, that I'm not there yet.
[18:02] But you know what? I might be a couple steps further than somebody else. And I can give them a hand and help them up, you know, okay. Always draws this, this, you know, helping each other up the ladder.
[18:11] And for me, that's my purpose. But I think it's important to find your own purpose.
[18:16] And that.
[18:17] That was my challenge. When I talk about, you know, being a young wife and mom and I had no purpose.
[18:25] I didn't know. I didn't know how to find my purpose. I didn't know what to do. And I, I, you know, probably people could have told me they wouldn't have clicked,
[18:32] right?
[18:33] Something I had to kind of realize for myself.
[18:37] But I do think it can be done with intention. Like,
[18:40] you know, we've talked before about the Tony Robbins and Alex Hermosi interview.
[18:44] And,
[18:45] you know, Alex Hormozi had said something along the lines of, like,
[18:49] kind of just not feeling that joy.
[18:51] For him, one of his things was hypnotizing himself,
[18:54] you know, because he told himself, **** happiness. And that served him. But Tony Robbins was like, yeah, but you need a purpose.
[19:02] So I love. He gave this example of going to the moon and how once you've gone to the moon, what is next? Like, you know what?
[19:10] Once I, Once I got married and I was like, no, even. Not even married, but just, you know, we were married, but like, it didn't even have to be that for me.
[19:17] Then what? I walked on the moon. Okay,
[19:20] you know,
[19:21] what comes next? And he talked about, you know, a lot of the astronauts after that, they would drink themselves. They just, they,
[19:28] they went downhill afterward.
[19:30] And for Toby Robbins, he immerses himself in the people that he feeds. He will actually go to them so he can see the impact that he's making.
[19:38] And I think everybody makes an impact on. On other people around them to a degree. It's just finding what your story is, what's. What's resonating with you and making that impact on other people intentionally, like realizing, oh, I helped this person.
[19:53] Maybe you're just a listening ear to somebody,
[19:56] but maybe you can. Maybe, you know, maybe you want to be a listening ear for other people.
[20:00] Maybe you know it. So I think it's different for everybody, is my short answer. I guess.
[20:05] Yeah.
[20:06] Valerie: Okay, So I think one thing that you're pointing to that we talk about sometimes is this idea of a sacred desire, right? Or sacred ambition,
[20:19] and everyone has a different one.
[20:23] So when we're. We're operating behind old patterning of not enoughness,
[20:29] we don't actually have access to what we truly want. Which is why,
[20:34] you know, when you were in your 20s, right? Like you didn't even know what music you liked or you know, you didn't know what you wanted to do with your life.
[20:43] And it's because a lot of us grow up just wanting to survive.
[20:51] Whether it be because like, you know, we were in an abusive situation or even if our, you know, like I was brought up to just be obedient and to like want to please my elders and parents in authority.
[21:07] And we were taught that that is how we're going to get by.
[21:11] Unconscious patterning of that.
[21:13] Tarna: It's.
[21:14] Valerie: It's how we're going to get by and it's even socializing to us because like I could say that my high school was like if you get good grades, you go to a good college, your life is set.
[21:24] And we aren't taught to like really shoot for the moon. Like Tony Robbins is saying we. What kind of impact you want to have? What would it take for you to feel fulfilled in your soul?
[21:33] We are not asked those questions.
[21:35] So then we grow up and turn into these half baked adults that are just kind of like trying to,
[21:43] you know, get by is. Is fine. You know, it's like, I'm fine. There's nothing wrong,
[21:49] but there leaves a little bit of a hole in the soul that isn't filled.
[21:55] And, and I think some, maybe some people are lucky enough to just kind of find it where,
[22:02] I don't know, like they have a spark. But for some of us it's not like that.
[22:06] I know you have a thought in your mind, so. Yeah, go ahead.
[22:09] Tarna: Yeah, like. Well, I think some of it comes to. You were talking about conditioning in school and just to go even a step further besides the. Do what you're supposed to do and then it'll be fine.
[22:20] I don't know.
[22:21] I don't know if this was other schools, but I, and maybe I was, I was in AP English and AP classes which for us there's a lot of literary references,
[22:32] but a lot of literary references that cautioned on having too much ambition. Right? Like Icarus flowing close to the. Flying close to the moon. And oh, what happened? He got burned.
[22:41] Caesar. I don't know if you've ever read Caesar, but Shakespeare. Yeah,
[22:46] Caesar. The whole, the whole time our. I remember our teacher just is.
[22:50] It's about ambition. It's about having too much ambition. It's about having. It's about. He was too ambitious. He was too ambitious.
[22:56] And don't be too ambitious because this is what happens. Your friends are going to stab you in the back.
[23:02] And it's not far from, from some truth not be true.
[23:07] Because you know, as you grow, you do have some people who don't want to see you grow.
[23:12] So there's this whole other layer there.
[23:15] But then there's the idea of, you know, true friends are going to, they, they will support you and they are going to be cheering you on. Right.
[23:22] So,
[23:23] yeah, I think, I think in a lot of situations it is permission and the,
[23:32] the permission that I've been stepping into and really more so in the past few years,
[23:37] is that permission to. Yeah, I want to, I want to help my kids break generational curses,
[23:43] you know, or generational patterns. Curses, patterns, whatever you want to call it.
[23:48] I want to help them break those. I want to help my community,
[23:51] but I want to, I want to make a big difference.
[23:54] Like, I want to go as far as my impact will allow me to go.
[23:57] And you know what? I'll give the sun a kiss when I get there.
[24:01] That's, that's, that's my, my. If, or like, yes, I'm going to, that's my determination coming out. Right? That's, yeah.
[24:08] And because of that,
[24:09] that's why I'm, I'm, each time it's like I, in order to do that, I have to peel off another layer of this conditioning of keeping small and of shrinking myself.
[24:18] And when I go back to that,
[24:21] to that 19 year old who didn't know what she wanted to do with her life because she,
[24:26] she, she had been in survival mode, but she also didn't have permission to dream.
[24:33] Right.
[24:33] And I think that's a lot of us is you can be anything you want to be, but not that, that, that or that,
[24:40] you know. So,
[24:41] yeah,
[24:42] I think,
[24:43] I think that permission to even explore that,
[24:47] to explore hobbies, explore things that you enjoy,
[24:50] to see what happens and play.
[24:54] And I don't, I don't think life is, is about suffering.
[24:57] You suffer for a purpose. And I do think we get lessons. Yes.
[25:01] But it's, that's not what life's about.
[25:04] I'm at a point in my life and everything I've been through, I'm like, I don't think you're supposed to suffer. And what, who does it serve when you keep yourself small?
[25:11] Who does it serve when you don't give yourself permission to pursue your dreams? When you don't give yourself full permission to embody the Valerie that you want to embody, you know, to be able to pursue your passion?
[25:24] Who does, who does that?
[25:25] Who does that help?
[25:28] Valerie: Yeah, and I Think what you said was. So you said we, we don't suffer for a purpose.
[25:35] What we do suffer for. There's always.
[25:37] We always suffer for a reason.
[25:40] There is a reason behind our suffering and there usually is a lesson to be learned,
[25:47] but the purpose is beyond that, I think.
[25:51] Tarna: Right.
[25:51] Valerie: Because if we're suffering,
[25:53] that is something that is there to show us perhaps that we're not aligned. But when we know our purpose,
[26:01] when we know what we want to, where we want to go,
[26:04] then all the so called hard stuff,
[26:07] we don't suffer it anymore because we know if it's part of truly where we want to go,
[26:13] then we're just choosing our hard. We're just choosing what it's going to take for us to get there.
[26:21] Tarna: Yeah.
[26:22] Yeah. And you know, in some situations I have found,
[26:26] and this is a newer thing for me,
[26:28] but I actually chase it.
[26:31] So I've, I've noticed that. That, you know, like,
[26:36] like, you know, speaking in front of people or singing in front of people. You know, that was that story that I shared where I started talking about.
[26:43] I realized I like using my voice in front of other people. And I mean, I like, my whole body was shaking.
[26:50] Like it was a very physiological reaction and I didn't have to do it,
[26:57] but I recognized and I chose to.
[27:00] And oh my gosh, it was absolutely terrifying. And it was terrifying even when it was done,
[27:06] but I, I did it. It's because I was pursuing that hard thing and I was choosing my hard Right.
[27:12] Valerie: Or when you jumped into the dance circle that we had at the retreat.
[27:17] Tarna: Yeah,
[27:19] yeah, that video that you have on your Instagram.
[27:22] And I'm like trying to do ballet. Cause I'm like, I don't even know how to do ballet. Like dancing in front of people. People, they're looking at me. People are seeing me,
[27:29] right?
[27:30] Yes. And yeah, I think this, A lot of this piece that I'm working on now did start back at Ulta with being seen and.
[27:41] Yeah. And being enough.
[27:44] Yeah.
[27:45] Valerie: Okay. So this takes.
[27:46] Tarna: I don't want to sing or dance in front of people, but maybe one day though. Yes.
[27:50] Valerie: You'll join my dance class and then we'll get you on that path.
[27:54] So that brings us to back to the question that you had initially before we started of what if you don't know the pattern that you're hypnotized to.
[28:02] Tarna: Yeah. So I'm gonna, I'm gonna switch that around because we were talking about again, that interview,
[28:08] Alex Hermosi hypnotizing himself, saying, **** Joy, **** Joy. And Tony Robbins was like, yeah, you've hypnotized yourself for that.
[28:15] Yeah. And so I'm gonna throw that back around, because that was the question I asked you, because that's a really hard question. Yeah. What if you don't know the pattern that you're hypnotized to?
[28:25] That's where. I mean, that's where I was when I was 19.
[28:28] That's, you know, I shared my kind of. My story on that. That's where I was a year ago. That's where I was a month ago. You know, I start realizing all these different patterns.
[28:38] So I went to a personal mastery seminar weekend before last,
[28:42] and I came home and I was telling my husband, oh, it is so great. It's awesome. You should go.
[28:47] But for him,
[28:50] he's not in a place where he chases his trauma and says, I want to look you in the eye, and I'm going to figure this out. And I.
[28:57] I want to move past this. I want. No. And for me, you know, with yoga, with Ayurveda, a lot of is the. The only way out is through.
[29:06] Yeah.
[29:07] Right. And I know this, and I,
[29:11] you know, I embody this in so many ways. There's things that I, you know, not ready to go through yet. Not ready to look at yet.
[29:19] But then there are things where I'm like, this is. This is what I'm doing because I want to show up more authentically. And once I kind of had that epiphany of.
[29:28] It's keeping me small in my impact in my business and my ability to show up for my kids, like,
[29:34] I. I need to fix this. Right. That's. And it's not always so sometimes you have to soften. It's not always so hard. And, like, I'm gonna fix it now. You know, masculine.
[29:45] Sometimes you have to fix it from the feminine. But what I realized with him was he wasn't ready to chase those either.
[29:52] So not just like, when you don't know what patterns you're conditioned to, but when maybe you have an idea, but you're not ready to face them,
[30:01] too.
[30:02] Valerie: Yeah.
[30:04] So I will say that it's probably not necessary to fix it until it becomes a problem.
[30:15] And the reason why I say this is because I think everyone has their own personal journey.
[30:22] Tarna: Right.
[30:23] Valerie: And until you have exhausted your pattern,
[30:29] you won't know that it's holding you back.
[30:33] I was just, I guess, lucky enough to exhaust it fairly early to see that this was not going to work anymore, but that,
[30:42] you know, and so that made the choice to do it easier. And it made the willingness to. The curiosity,
[30:48] right, The. The willingness to be curious,
[30:52] it made it easier for me to open up to it.
[30:55] But when you've gone through your life relatively successfully without having to look at it,
[31:01] and it's still. You're still getting by okay,
[31:05] you won't know that you have it.
[31:08] So it's. It's really hard to convince somebody to step into a place of unknown and discomfort if they're too comfortable.
[31:19] Tarna: Yeah.
[31:21] Valerie: Yeah.
[31:21] And I think we've just had the luxury of discomfort,
[31:25] right? Of just being like, this is really not it.
[31:29] And I refuse to. For this to be it, this can't be it. When I see other people flourishing and having what I desire and I am doing all of the things allegedly to, like, to help myself, and for some reason, there's still this thing.
[31:48] There must be something else,
[31:50] right? There must be something else that I'm doing that perhaps is sabotaging me.
[31:56] So the first step, I think, is when you do have that inkling is to just stay open and curious to discover what that is.
[32:08] Because until.
[32:11] Until you don't, until, like, you're curious and open,
[32:16] you won't be aware.
[32:17] Does that make sense?
[32:19] Tarna: Yes.
[32:21] And so, yes, I think that's. I think that's true for a good majority of people. But I also think.
[32:30] Well, and this is more based on some of the stuff that I've been kind of going through and learning, too, is that determination to reach your goals, too. So.
[32:40] So I'm going to back up a little bit. So,
[32:42] you know, we have the different, like, personality types. Right. So I tend to fall in supporter. Like, Alex Hermosi would be somebody who's more of a controller. Right. So, you know, different motivations, different drives, different.
[32:53] For me, my purpose is making an impact. For him, his purpose is making an impact, but it's also like achievement, Right?
[32:58] Valerie: Yeah.
[33:00] Tarna: So going to that purpose piece,
[33:02] how you're going to go about it, sometimes a supporter has to step up into a controller, vice versa, and you have to learn, like, the skills of an analyst or a promoter,
[33:11] you know?
[33:13] But I think that it doesn't necessarily have to be a place of discomfort. I do think that, like, we talked about the strategic, like, strategically looking at what are my barriers.
[33:24] Okay.
[33:25] And I think some of that comes down to just being so determined to reach your goal, too.
[33:30] So maybe not always, and this is just something that occurred to me while you were talking, but maybe not always because you're uncomfortable enough,
[33:37] because the discomfort finally got to be Too much.
[33:41] But maybe it could also happen if you're just that determined and that focused,
[33:46] and you're just like, no, I'm going to do this no matter what. Yeah.
[33:50] I think. I think that can be a powerful driver, too,
[33:53] to recognize those patterns. Because as you're determined to go to that goal and you have that barrier in the way,
[34:01] I mean. Yeah. If your determination is strong enough, you're going to find a way. And a lot of times, that does mean what are the patterns that are holding you back?
[34:08] And so right now, that's, you know, one of the things that's where I'm at with my shrinking, too.
[34:13] But,
[34:15] yeah, I don't know, because. So I feel like my determination,
[34:18] that piece, because I am like, I'm. I'm going to do this,
[34:22] has also led me to, okay, why is this an issue? And then I go back and I look and I see, oh, that's discomfort from, you know, when I was a kid and I wanted to be small,
[34:32] and that's where this came from.
[34:35] So sometimes it requires going into that discomfort. But I would say I went back into it at this stage by just by choice,
[34:44] or maybe not. Maybe just by. By Dharma.
[34:47] I feel like it's a choice.
[34:49] Valerie: Well, I think that discomfort is. Is kind of a choice. Right.
[34:53] Tarna: Yeah, yeah. They choose your hard. Yeah, well.
[34:58] Valerie: Cause, like, the other is discomfort not by choice. Right. For example, the discomfort of poverty or the discomfort of abuse or whatever it might be. Those are not very empowering contexts.
[35:10] Tarna: Right,
[35:11] right. But to. Yeah,
[35:13] but you. You could also.
[35:16] One of the things that I'm working on is my story around some of those things. So when I say my story, it's like the things that I tell myself like, okay, so this fact.
[35:25] This happened.
[35:26] And,
[35:27] you know, that means that maybe I was just a horrible child. Maybe I did. You know, there's all these things, and as I'm not, I'm gonna just.
[35:38] You know, I've. I've talked to a lot of. I've talked to a lot of women. I don't know about men so much, but women that have. That have kind of gone through similar experiences.
[35:48] And, you know, maybe they went through it in adulthood. Maybe it was childhood. But it's like that.
[35:52] Not enough or not doing it right. Or they don't love me or they. So we had these. These. The facts. The thing happened. And then we have these. These stories that.
[36:01] It's like, that must mean X, Y, Z.
[36:05] And so,
[36:06] you know,
[36:08] a spouse cheats on another one. Oh, I wasn't Enough or maybe you were more than enough,
[36:15] you know, so it's, it's. So that's something I'm personally working on. Yeah, I don't have like the answers for, for that, but that's like a, a tool that I recently learned that I'm, I'm really looking at in regards to the shrinking myself of.
[36:28] You know,
[36:29] actually maybe it was. Maybe I'm more than enough. You know, maybe that's, that doesn't mean what that's. And there is the whole thing of, well, that's their issue, that's not your issue.
[36:39] Right. But that doesn't really serve you. So coming up with a story that's going to serve you and help you in your next,
[36:47] your next path, your next piece of your journey.
[36:50] Valerie: This brings up a really interesting memory of mine about loving self and not being lovable.
[36:58] All the stories I have about that because in my like late 20s or something, it was around that time, maybe late 30s or early 30s.
[37:09] Like I hadn't been a dancer up until that point and like I was in great shape, you know,
[37:15] pretty on the outside fit, you know, whatever. Like I'm not, not like a bad catch, you know. But at that point in time specifically I was attracting all of the wrong people.
[37:29] Just awful, like people that would just use me for my body or just like,
[37:34] you know, would ghost me or like do just completely inappropriate things. And it was a pattern.
[37:41] And it started, it was something that I think started early on in my 20s. And I just,
[37:46] I would let all the bad behavior slide because I didn't have the self worth to stand up for myself and to like actually stand in what I deserve, what I want, et cetera.
[37:55] So by the time I was like late 20s, early 30s, like this had become worse and I found myself bawling in front of a personal development seminar of like a hundred people.
[38:08] And I just like, it's so silly thing of like this guy doesn't love me, he doesn't text me back. And it was, you know, it, it was so, it felt like so juvenile to be saying this like as an adult in front of all these people at a leadership kind of thing.
[38:25] But like that was it. And,
[38:29] and the. One of the people in the audience or, or the leader was, said something just really, really simple to his. Maybe he's just not that into you,
[38:37] you should move on and find somebody else.
[38:38] Tarna: Right.
[38:40] Valerie: There's a whole movie about that, by the way. It's excellent.
[38:43] Tarna: Is it not a movie title?
[38:44] Valerie: It is a movie,
[38:46] but I think I had this like, I had this realization in that moment that I wasn't choosing anything. I was just the victim of everybody else who was coming in and like, you know, and, and, and I wasn't choosing to,
[39:02] to make myself available to people who would treat me better because I was constantly, constantly saying yes to people that weren't.
[39:11] Um,
[39:12] but up until that point, I wasn't aware I was doing that.
[39:15] I just thought that that was the way I had to be in order to be liked, in order to be, you know. But it was actually the, the opposite. It was attracting the people that weren't going to respect me.
[39:25] And sometimes we need that outside. Like we need to ask for help or to like realize a problem is a problem that we really don't know it.
[39:35] Right? That's when you really need to be like, okay, I have no idea what I'm doing,
[39:39] so someone please give me some perspective.
[39:43] Um,
[39:44] but yeah, up until that point, sometimes we think that we could just
[39:46] Tarna: figure it out,
[39:48] you know, I love that.
[39:50] Thank you for sharing that it so that the purse don't. Personal mastery that I went to weekend before last.
[39:57] I found myself standing up in front of a room of people talking about this concept of win win scenarios and being authentic and not shrinking myself and that it really got to this core fear that I stood up in front of all these people and I was sharing because I like there was a girl who came and she stood up before me and she was talking about some of her stuff and I was like,
[40:24] okay,
[40:25] I feel like,
[40:27] like just letting her know she's not alone in this piece. But it led to me sharing like my, my, my full experience was I got to this place where I recognized and I didn't know but because of having this seminar and these outside like you know, other people.
[40:42] And I stood up there and I, I,
[40:46] I just realized I was like, I'm afraid that showing up for myself and being a supporter relationship is really big and really important.
[40:56] And I was afraid that I was going to lose my husband.
[41:00] And I didn't acknowledge that I didn't want to like, but I just, when I'm standing up there and I was like,
[41:06] and I'm afraid if I, if I stop shrinking myself that it's going to cause or if, and that I'm going to end up losing my husband because I'm on this path of self growth and you know, what if he doesn't like me setting these boundaries?
[41:22] What if. And this is not a reflection on him at all.
[41:26] But just, just it was all Me, like,
[41:29] what if.
[41:30] What if he doesn't. What if, you know, I want. Cause I want the people around me to be happy. Right.
[41:35] But I also realized, like,
[41:37] they have a certain percent of choice in that matter too.
[41:42] Like a lot, like a hundred percent choice in that matter.
[41:46] And me not doing the things that I want to do just to appease somebody else, just to appease them or appease my. Even my kids, you know, like,
[41:57] and not showing up fully and not growing into my full potential.
[42:02] How is that impacting my kids?
[42:04] And is that even fair to him?
[42:08] Because then who is he actually with, you know, at that point and for. Just, just,
[42:13] just to share. I had a conversation with him about it. It took me like five more days to talk to him about it.
[42:19] And he just sat there and listened and just really just receptive and like, just didn't tell me. Well, that's silly. Why would you. Why would you think I would leave because of, you know,
[42:32] but he just, he just held it and was just with me. But, but yeah, like, not like I, I. And I realized I've been holding on to that fear for a long time.
[42:41] And I was just so afraid that it was going back to my voice. Just like singing in front of people, like, using my voice and actually allowing the fear to come out of my voice had so much power for me.
[42:57] And I mean, I was.
[42:59] Yeah, it was embarrassing crying in front of a bunch of people or like, I think it would have been. I don't know, because I was too, like.
[43:06] But I had so many people come up to me afterward and say.
[43:09] It was like looking at myself up there.
[43:12] Thank you so much for sharing. I was having this, you know, so,
[43:15] so, yeah,
[43:17] having that, that pattern recognition and not,
[43:20] not knowing that you have it and attracting that.
[43:23] And really it's something that you have control of all along,
[43:28] whether you're, you know, to stand in your own power and in what ways are you disempowering yourself?
[43:35] Valerie: Yeah, And I actually have had similar, you know, I feel like I've had similar thoughts with, like, I'm afraid that they're not going to love me anymore and whatnot.
[43:45] But then what.
[43:46] But then I don't get to be me.
[43:49] Tarna: And then.
[43:50] Valerie: Is that what you really want? And you're right. Like, we take away choice from others when we hide ourselves.
[43:57] Tarna: Yeah.
[43:58] Valerie: And so,
[44:00] yeah, it's been a muscle though, right? It's a muscle that's really weak because when we do,
[44:06] we have had a lifetime of not standing up for ourselves.
[44:10] It's such a Challenge to just be like, I'm going to do this and expect other people to just allow other people to have their own choice, opinions, et cetera, and not be so swayed by them.
[44:22] Like, yes, of course we're going to acknowledge other people's opinions if they, you know, when they. When they do have some kind of sway. But at the end of the day, we have.
[44:33] Our responsibility is actually to uphold our. Our stance and our convictions.
[44:39] Tarna: Yeah, yeah. And I will say I've had times in the past where I was like, I'm going to do the thing I'm going to do anyway. Like, I'm just going to keep doing it.
[44:47] And that didn't work for me because it would work for a little bit and then eventually I would stop doing something because, you know, it was inconvenient for somebody else.
[44:58] And I didn't want to. I didn't want them to be inconvenienced. I didn't want them to be upset about it. I didn't want them to.
[45:04] But they weren't things that actually, like, affected them and realizing this power of choice,
[45:10] the power of the story.
[45:12] Right. So combining those two things of.
[45:14] I had the story that,
[45:16] oh, well, it's inconvenient for. For them. And so I just stopped doing this. And, and now it's like this,
[45:24] that shift when I recognize that that's that fear and acknowledged it and looked at it,
[45:30] and then it was like, oh,
[45:32] hey, I hear that this is inconvenient for you right now,
[45:36] and this is the time that works best for me. We can talk about this and make another agreement later,
[45:41] you know, and. And if then making. Having a discussion about it instead of just,
[45:45] I'm going to stop doing this, having a discussion about, okay,
[45:49] why is that. Why is this one a struggle for you? And okay, because I'm going to do this. So what would that look like? And actually just having dialogue versus building resentment because then you're not doing the thing that you want to do either, right?
[46:01] Yeah. And so, you know, it's not like you're being a martyr and people pleasing. It's like you're people pleasing and you want them to be happy. You really do. But then the same time you're like,
[46:10] oh, well, I can't do what I want to do. You know, so there is always that. That little piece that, you know,
[46:18] so. Yeah. Just layers and layers and layers.
[46:22] Valerie: Yeah.
[46:22] Tarna: I love, I love. I think about Shrek and Shrek being an onion, not a parquet. It's an onion. A little smelly
[46:32] Valerie: yeah. And I think a lot of my,
[46:35] like, I've had to reinforce myself over time and it's gotten better.
[46:40] So, for example, even simple things like not feeling pressure to text people back on time or like immediately, you know, that. That kind of thing where it's like, I have boundaries over my time.
[46:55] Also correcting people when they misunderstand what I said and being like, actually, this is what I meant. Rather than just being like, oh, you know, shrinking back because they misunderstood or like just being.
[47:05] Allowing them to have it.
[47:07] You know, even just the other day I had a request for something and then what was. What came back to me was something different than what I expected. And usually I would just.
[47:16] Or in the past, rather, I would let it slide. But then just being gently like, hey, this is.
[47:22] I actually was looking for this. Can we correct those little.
[47:27] Those are just very little things. But they add up, right? Because they, they reinforce confidence that, like, I'm allowed to have a voice,
[47:34] I'm allowed to have desires, I'm allowed to have this over time,
[47:39] then you become the person who is allowed to have the bigger desires that I'm. I'm going to request something and people are going to actually listen.
[47:47] But it doesn't happen overnight. I think that's why it's not always helpful to be like, wake up and be like, I'm gonna build a million dollar business. I need this.
[47:56] Are people gonna necessarily believe you? No, because you weren't that person yesterday.
[48:01] Tarna: So,
[48:03] yeah. And stepping into that newer identity and having people start to recognize like,
[48:09] oh, she's maintaining this boundary.
[48:11] Oh, okay. This is a new thing.
[48:14] And so I have a question on your. The thing that came back, that wasn't what you originally requested, and you responded back saying, hey, no, what? I actually wanted this.
[48:22] Did you apologize? Did you say, I'm sorry or did you,
[48:26] oh, I'm so proud of you?
[48:28] Valerie: No, it was like, actually, this is what I do or this is what I want.
[48:33] Would that still, you know, fulfill your parameters? And if not, that's okay. If so, then, you know, let's move forward.
[48:39] Tarna: Right?
[48:41] Valerie: Yeah, I've gotten a little bit better at it.
[48:44] And you know what? It gives people the permission to say no.
[48:47] And that is a wonderful thing.
[48:50] This actually is very relevant. If anyone out there has ever struggled with sales and doing it in a genuine way,
[48:58] giving people their permission to say no is a wonderful thing. And the reason for this is because you don't have to be everything for everyone.
[49:07] You want the people who are resonating with you to be in your circle. You want the people who actually vibe with you, who share your values and convictions to be in your circle, the ones who share your vision, not the people who are wishy washy about it or don't know what they want.
[49:22] And when you invite with intentionality,
[49:25] it means that not everybody's going to be able to say yes.
[49:28] And for. For you to invite a clear no is empowering for both you and the other person.
[49:33] Tarna: Right.
[49:34] Valerie: So this goes with relationships as well. I've learned that inviting no is really great.
[49:43] Tarna: Yeah, inviting it and asking. Asking other people to feel okay with saying no.
[49:50] And then also hearing your no too.
[49:52] Yeah, both ways. I think that's. I think that's beautiful and beautifully put too.
[49:57] Valerie: So, like, please reject me if you don't, you know, you feel called to.
[50:03] Tarna: So I have a question for you, if you don't mind. And I know, like, you're interviewing me, but.
[50:11] So we were talking about this, and we were talking about it beforehand, but I. I just kind of wanted to circle back to,
[50:17] you know, previous podcasts that you did and you were talking about. And you talked to me about working at the, at the coffee shop, right?
[50:23] Yeah. And having to kind of start from ground zero. You, like, learning the language, learning everything that, when you were talking and sharing about on the last episode, the menu, like, not being able to read the menu.
[50:36] And yet you're also in this journey of, of being seen and being enough and starting in this place of like,
[50:45] essentially observation and. And, you know, not necessarily shrinking, but, like, what. What is that? Like, what is.
[50:52] How's that feel?
[50:53] Valerie: It's so funny because, like, I'll tell myself that I'm not ready or I can't do it, and then I'll try it once and I can't do it, and then the second time I can do it and I'm like, well,
[51:01] I guess I just proved myself wrong.
[51:04] You know, that actually has happened multiple times this week.
[51:07] Like, my. My supervisor will be like, let's go and have you explain this really elaborate course menu in Japanese and not only just Japanese, but like formal Japanese and see how it goes.
[51:19] And the first time I'll just follow flat on my face.
[51:23] But then I'll go home and I'll reflect and I'll be like, okay, what did she say? Oh, she said it this way. And then I'll go back and I'll try it again, and I.
[51:30] I could do it by myself. And I'm all of a sudden like, oh,
[51:33] okay, well, that wasn't so bad.
[51:35] Let me try it again. Okay.
[51:37] Right. And it's like, okay, well, I guess I. I just underestimated my. My own abilities, and I was just telling myself a story that I can't do it.
[51:46] But I love that I learned to. To embrace hard. I've learned to embrace discomfort because I know that it's growth.
[51:56] And.
[51:57] And I've had moments this week where I'm like, I hate this.
[52:00] I hate this so much.
[52:03] My husband has seen all of it. Just like, the tears and the.
[52:06] The. The griping. But,
[52:08] yeah,
[52:09] every day I prove to myself that I can.
[52:13] So you know what I would recommend for anyone out there who's, like, afraid to try things because they don't know if they're ready or if they don't feel competent is like, just.
[52:21] Just go for it and see if you're truly incompetent. Like, yeah, it will come back and you'll. You'll see that you. You really need to step it up or you need to do something different.
[52:30] But a lot of the time, it's just the story that we're telling ourselves about how we're not ready.
[52:36] Tarna: Yeah.
[52:37] So much truth in that. I. I love that I had somebody ask me about building my business.
[52:43] I've had several somebodies because I. When I graduated from. From school and I got my office, and I was like, okay, I'm gonna start seeing people. And even though I'd only had a whole two clients, that whole, like, you know, I started in July, so that.
[52:56] But that whole first through the half year, but that whole first year,
[52:59] and it was somebody else who was practicing, who was teaching as a nurse, who was doing eft, and she was trying to be else for her business,
[53:07] but she wasn't quite putting herself out there yet. And I remember she was. She'd come to me and she said, she was like,
[53:13] what is your secret? What are you doing? Because people were becoming aware of me already,
[53:19] and I was like, if I feel afraid, then that means I have to do it.
[53:23] And that's kind of what came out with the singing was,
[53:26] oh,
[53:27] this is a bigger scale. But, like, if you feel afraid that. I mean, that don't be, you know, don't. Don't do something stupid like, oh, I feel afraid to jump off a cliff.
[53:35] Don't. Don't do that. That's not what I'm saying. But like,
[53:38] the growth fear, you know, if it's something that you're afraid to do and even take baby steps, but. But embrace it, you know, like me speaking About. About my fear with my husband, like, just recognizing that.
[53:50] And maybe that's the key. What you asked me earlier about people, like, finding their purpose and having this whole. Maybe it's a matter of,
[53:58] well, what are you afraid of? Go that direction.
[54:00] You know, like, go that way.
[54:04] But yeah,
[54:06] facing the fear and, oh, I'm afraid that means I gotta do it. That's kind of been like my personal mantra for past several years.
[54:14] Valerie: I love that because I think you have answered your own question too about, like,
[54:20] what makes other people choose to leave their comfort zone and what makes other people.
[54:28] Makes some other people shrink back and run away from it?
[54:34] Tarna: Yeah,
[54:34] yeah. When I was. Because,
[54:36] yeah, like. And I reflect on this a lot. And yes, I think some of it is chasing that fear. But why,
[54:44] you know, why do people choose to chase that fear? What. What is it in them that makes them decide they want to break,
[54:51] break, you know, different patterns or that they don't want to just do the nine to fives while they're unhappy at home, but yet they still. They do nine to five.
[54:59] They come home, they watch tv, they go to bed, they get up, they rinse, they repeat.
[55:03] And they're not happy, but they keep doing it. Right. So what makes them choose to stay in it versus somebody who is like, I'm not going to stay in this.
[55:13] And I think that kind of. That's, you know, that's what I was saying at the beginning about the discomfort being enough.
[55:18] Like, once you get uncomfortable enough,
[55:20] you know, you tend to want to make changes.
[55:23] Right.
[55:24] Because at a certain point, you know,
[55:26] they have, you know, all the, all the cliches. The devil, you know, is better than the devil that you don't. But then at the certain point,
[55:33] the unknown becomes whatever is unknown. It's gotta be better than this thing, right? Yeah,
[55:40] but. Yeah. So what's that? Love? I guess maybe that level is different for different people.
[55:45] But.
[55:46] Yeah, I mean, I. I've seen some people stay in some very, very uncomfortable situations and uncomfort. Discomfort is a. Is a understatement in some of the situations. And they continue to stay in that situation.
[56:00] Yeah, I guess.
[56:01] Valerie: Yeah.
[56:01] I think we've gone through. We've covered a lot of ground and, like, actually gotten a lot of really good answers that I think people can ponder on.
[56:10] What would you say?
[56:12] What do you see as the next steps for your journey? What is your vision for the next iteration of Tarna?
[56:20] Tarna: Hmm.
[56:21] So I.
[56:24] I have goals that I, you know, my quarterly goals, things like that. And I.
[56:28] I want my Business to grow beyond Western Colorado.
[56:32] And it's. I, I also. It's not about finances me. It is about the impact and being able to make a difference.
[56:40] But something that happened in the past week was. So I work at the hospital too,
[56:45] and there was a guy there who was showing us a ventilator. He just talks at Colorado, at respiratory conferences in Colorado and then the aarc, which is a bigger,
[56:56] bigger thing. And I think I'm at a point with finding myself more that. Bridging my two halves,
[57:03] if you will, my western medicine,
[57:05] you know, respiratory care and,
[57:07] you know,
[57:08] all of that with this amazing ayurvedic knowledge and this,
[57:13] this aspect of choice, too, and being able to bring those together and actually marry them versus feeling like I have this, like,
[57:21] dichotomy is huge.
[57:25] So that's, that's, that's a direction.
[57:27] But also I really want to empower others to pursue whatever their path is because even though I'm in, you know, health and wellness on both facets. Right.
[57:39] It all comes down to empowering. Empowering you to make the choice in your. In your health, but also in your life because you, you know, people don't have to stay stuck.
[57:48] So that's the impact that I want to have on people is I want to help empower them. I want them to know that they can follow their dreams and that they can be Icarus and that the sun's okay.
[58:01] Like my,
[58:02] you know,
[58:02] they don't have to turn like, you know, ambitious in a selfish way. They can be ambitious and still be giving, not so much like Caesar. So, yeah,
[58:12] that's. That's the impact that I would like to have. And I would like that to be how large. I don't know, however large it grows. But I want it to be significant because,
[58:22] yeah, I want to change the world.
[58:25] Yes.
[58:26] Yes. Yeah,
[58:28] right.
[58:28] Valerie: No. Ambition is too large when it comes to wanting to make an impact on people. So thank you, Tarna, for your light today and thanks for sharing your story.
[58:42] Tarna: Yeah, thank you for having me again. I appreciate you and thanks for sharing some of yours, of course.
[58:49] Valerie: Okay, we'll see you next time.
[58:51] Tarna: Thank you.
[58:52] Valerie: Thanks for tuning in to from the Ashes. If this episode sparked something in you, remember your evolution matters and we're rooting for you every step of the way.
[59:02] For coaching, community and free resources to help you rise into your full potential,
[59:07] visit thevibrantvisionary.com and download the Vibrant Vision Visionary Blueprint, your free guide to reclaim your energy, clarity, and creative fire.
[59:17] If you love this episode, please share it with a friend. Or tag me Valerie on Instagram @vibrantvisionary. Val, I'd love to hear what resonated for you.
[59:27] Until next time, keep rising.
