[00:00] Rise, Renew,
[00:01] reconnect.
[00:03] Welcome to from the Ashes, a podcast where bold conversations empower healing and authentic, vibrant living.
[00:09] I'm your host, Valerie Huang Beck, and I'm on a mission to evolve the dialogue that moves humanity harmoniously forward.
[00:17] And the fire in the darkest night of Phoenix Birds, it's ready for flight Shadows may come try to tear you apart, but you're the.
[00:29] Hello, everyone,
[00:30] and welcome back to from the Ashes.
[00:33] This is your host, Valerie Huang Beck, and I am deciding to do a solo episode today,
[00:39] and it's been a while since I've done a solo episode. I think it's the first one of the season. I have my notes here with me, so I'm going to be covering a bunch of stuff, and it's gonna sound a little bit like a rant today.
[00:50] I hope this will still be valuable for you all.
[00:53] But after doing 65 episodes of from the Ashes and realizing how much work it is to even just build up an audience,
[01:04] I feel a little more emboldened to say what I want because it's. It's been really apparent to me that we are all so distracted,
[01:14] and maybe not as many people are paying attention to this as I wanted to.
[01:21] In spite of that, I think it's going to enable me to be a little bit more honest with what I bring on this podcast.
[01:29] In spite of all of my efforts to be.
[01:32] To be bold, to. To be the intentional rebel, I do find that I hold myself back.
[01:37] And because there's so little feedback on the podcast itself in terms of what people think if they have any questions,
[01:46] I find myself feeling like I'm talking into the void.
[01:50] And so if. If nobody has anything to say,
[01:54] I guess I will say what I want,
[01:56] right?
[01:58] So a little bit of self intro for those of you who maybe are just curious or like, okay, what's this. This girl talking about?
[02:05] My name is Valerie Beck. I am the founder of the Vibrant Visionary.
[02:10] I am a vitality and vision mentor. So what I do is I help people to really embrace their true self and to thrive in that. My goal is to have people live the exact lives that they want,
[02:24] Nothing more, nothing less.
[02:26] And to really feel grounded in their bodies, in their minds, in their spirits,
[02:32] to feel vibrant and healthy.
[02:34] That is my life's mission.
[02:36] But I'm not just the founder of the Vibrant Visionary. People who know me know that I do a ton of different things.
[02:44] And one of those things is that I'm a movement artist. I have been a dancer since I was 6 years old, which means that I'VE been doing this for probably more than 32 years at this point in terms of any type of movement dancing, gymnastics, hip hop, street dance,
[03:00] et cetera.
[03:01] I live in Japan. I've been living in Japan since last year after being away for 13 years. I'm not from there,
[03:08] however,
[03:09] I love it here and it being in Japan has been one of the most formative experiences of my life.
[03:17] I work in many different areas. I have worked as a travel guide, as a professional dancer and educator.
[03:25] And my latest quest right now, aside from my role as a mentor in the vibrant Visionary,
[03:32] is to learn how to work in Japanese,
[03:35] Japanese culture, Japanese language. And so I have taken up part time job as a barista in a coffee specialty company.
[03:44] And so there are many, many lessons that I am learning just from doing that.
[03:50] Many expectations that I had for this job that were blown away.
[03:55] And I find myself in a position where I've had to play actually a couple of different roles even within that and learn very, very quickly.
[04:06] So that's something I feel like I should talk about later on at some point because putting myself in such a foreign situation now that I'm older, now that I'm like late 30s,
[04:19] having lived some life,
[04:20] it I find that I am approaching it quite differently from how I would have before being a really insecure,
[04:29] anxious person.
[04:31] As a young adult,
[04:33] I consider myself a living example of what I teach. Not because I think I have reached some pinnacle, but because I am willing to make mistakes continuously.
[04:45] I'm willing to be a beginner and I am okay with society viewing me as a failure,
[04:55] whatever that means. I don't think anyone has ever called me a failure. But like, if you were to look at my life on paper,
[05:01] you would either think that I am crazy distracted and can't make any decisions on where I want my life to go, or you might think that I am an evil genius.
[05:12] Who knows?
[05:13] But regardless of all of that, I am Here we are on our 66th episode of from the Ashes podcast. It started in May of 2024, so we're almost on two years and this season has been all about being the Intentional Rebel.
[05:31] So I want to do a little bit of reflection on the season so far.
[05:36] Looking at the episodes that we have done since we started this year,
[05:41] we kicked it off with becoming the Intentional Rebel. Because last year, at the end of the year,
[05:47] well, last year was a big year of experimentation and going for things that I had been putting off because I was like, it's about time, at least try to do some, some Stuff put myself out there at some point last year I was a social media influencer.
[06:04] Not a successful one,
[06:06] but I did post almost every freaking day and learn how to like work the algorithm and all of that.
[06:14] And it was interesting. I would say I got some traction. And at the end of the day I will also say that it was a royal waste of my attention and energy and that I don't believe that this is a way for me to thrive.
[06:29] And if it's going to take me becoming a social influencer to become a so called success,
[06:37] I don't consider that a success.
[06:38] So that I've gracefully let go of.
[06:43] I also did a couple of retreats for entrepreneurs with like the Nomad Escape and then I went to the Mind Valley University also really eye opening.
[06:55] And I do consider it to have been,
[06:58] you know, for me to take a couple steps forward and being more bold and putting myself out there, but also realizing that a lot of the things that we strive for in this life that we think that we want are not actually what we want.
[07:15] And after going to mindvalley, that was very clear to me that I had outgrown some of my desires, I had outgrown some of my,
[07:25] my previous aspirations.
[07:29] One of my visions that I wanted was I wanted to be a speaker on the Mindvalley stage. I had that on my vision board in 2020 for.
[07:39] And I wanted to like make a million dollars and like be this famous speaker and this authority on whatever.
[07:47] And that vision crumbled. Getting to actual mindvalley and seeing how people are and just the, the blind pursuit of so called growth and success with no real idea of what that,
[08:05] what that's going to bring people like what, what that actually enables your life to be like.
[08:10] I think people are so hungry for attention and for, for recognition and validation that that becomes the end all, be all.
[08:18] But that is not what I want anymore. I am.
[08:22] I realize that the more that I come back to myself, actually the healthier I become,
[08:28] the more healthy in the mind I become,
[08:30] the more healthy in the body I become,
[08:33] the more I realize how sacred my life is in its singular form and that there are things that I want to stand for in this lifetime that matter more to me than influence and wealth and success.
[08:46] But we'll get to that in a bit because I think my guests on this podcast can say this a lot better than I can.
[08:53] And this season so far we had Asia Dorsey kicking it off with From Martyrdom to Medicine, Reclaiming the Body as a site of Liberation and Shout out to Asia because,
[09:08] you know, she showed up to the Ayurveda conference I was speaking at as well last year in Colorado. She was a guest speaker speaking on Me as Medicine, which was challenging the so much of what Ayurvedic practitioners these days advocate for.
[09:26] But there is a place for Me as Medicine. And even in the classical Ayurvedic texts, they do discuss this as well. But because ideology and religion and tradition has warped our what we view as right or wrong, a lot of the time we can't really see clearly and objectively what is medicine or not.
[09:52] You know, we didn't cover that so much in the podcast, but what we did cover is this reclamation of self and this really embracing our life as something that is worth caring for and finding that we can't just be martyrs, we can't just sacrifice ourselves for the greater good without remembering how to also treat ourselves as sacred.
[10:18] Because at the end of the day, if we can't give anything, if we are broken and bruised and we are starving and we are tired,
[10:25] how can we show up for other people in a way that is going to be helpful?
[10:32] Then we also had Telfer McConaughey. He is also superstar in my, in my eyes and talking about how all model models are wrong also again,
[10:42] encouraging people to question the status quo,
[10:45] encouraging us to question what we believe at right and wrong,
[10:51] and just being an advocate for having the world live in harmony and not having us constantly trying to,
[11:01] to fix each other, trying to fix the world, and also learning how to embrace our true inner golden light.
[11:10] We had then my friend Tien, who popped up into my life after I think 10 plus years. And you know, we both come from a tricking background like acrobatic stuff and parkour and,
[11:23] you know, that's how I got to know him and the deeper part of himself.
[11:28] I think I had seen it in New Zealand, but I didn't really get to know it until much, much later.
[11:34] And it's been a blessing to be able to see how people in my life have actually found their own path and grown and that we are coming back later as more mature adults and able to dive deep into these topics together.
[11:48] So that's Tian Tan in the episode From Influencer to Introspective.
[11:54] And then after that we had my friend at Tarna breaking the pattern of shrinking and becoming fully seen.
[12:01] And Tarna is one of those people also who's been a really lovely presence in my life.
[12:09] And we have been on our own journeys of breaking through our tendencies to take a step back and be in the background, rather than being shining in our full light, stepping into our power and being a stand for what we truly want to see in the world.
[12:29] And so if you want to hear a really honest account of what it takes to break through some of those really stubborn patterns of self doubt and of self limitations, listen to Tarna's episode,
[12:45] and latest, but not least,
[12:48] my episode with my mentor, Kate Stillman, on psychedelic therapy in Ayurveda. And if you are at all curious, I really,
[13:00] really would like you to listen to this episode.
[13:03] Whether you have done psychedelic therapy or not, whether you have tried Ayurveda or not, whether you're an Ayurvedic practitioner that doesn't believe in psychedelic therapy or believes that mushrooms are tamasic,
[13:16] I don't care.
[13:17] I want you to listen to this episode and challenge yourself to open your mind to what Kate has to say.
[13:26] Because the more that I dive into my own healing journey, the more that I dive into just my life in general.
[13:35] I see that there are so many things that we take for granted as true that are not true.
[13:44] There are so many things that we take for granted as right that are not necessarily right.
[13:50] And to continue to be so fixated and stubborn in what we believe as true when the reality is much more nuanced doesn't help us as a species to survive and doesn't help our mental health or our physical health.
[14:11] And so the more that we can really get back to some of the primal aspects of who we are as human beings and to really see what it is that helps us thrive, I think the more we can move humanity forward.
[14:28] Now I want to go back to a couple of concepts that I think are really key that I mentioned as I was reflecting on these episodes, is that it's not about infinite growth,
[14:43] right? It's not about having more wealth or having more fame or more influence. It's not about being more successful in your job as the end all, be all.
[14:56] It's not about this crazy. I can have everything and anything, and that is what is success.
[15:06] I believe that success,
[15:07] true success,
[15:09] is very idiosyncratic.
[15:13] And it's about architecting with exact precision what it is that you want,
[15:20] which means that you actually have to know exactly what you want.
[15:26] Nothing more, nothing less.
[15:28] But so many of us are living from this baseline of, I need to keep up with the Joneses. I need to have as much as she's having. I need to be successful as as much as he is successful.
[15:41] Otherwise I won't have the influence that he has and I won't make the impact that I want on the world. But why is it that you have to have that much impact?
[15:49] Why is it that you have to have more and more?
[15:52] Right?
[15:52] What do you want out of your life aside from chasing numbers?
[15:58] Because even in like a, you know, big name leader that's inspirational, that has changed other people for the better, like Tomini, Robbins, like he still talks as if,
[16:09] like his desires are insatiable,
[16:15] like you know, listening to the interview with Alex Hermosi and Tony Robbins.
[16:22] Tony Robbins is talking about how like he has reached all of the goals. So now what?
[16:27] Oh, now I want to feed like a million people or a billion people and that's like my goal is I get obsessed in the number.
[16:36] But why is it that we want to do more and more and more and we want more for ourselves? Like even giving more means that we need more resources to do that.
[16:47] Why is it that it has to be you? Why is it so ego centered that I have to be the hero?
[16:56] I encourage people to check themselves when they find themselves sticking to. I want to reach a million people or a billion people when you could easily change the world by being super present with one person or two, you know, whatever,
[17:14] like really think about that. But not only that, but what kind of life do you want to live?
[17:19] Do you want to be someone who is so famous and so wealthy that so many people are relying on you and like you don't have any time to yourself or you need to present yourself in a certain way?
[17:30] Or would you rather be living in a forest really free? Maybe like growing your own garden and being able to be super present with the plants and all that. Like these are different lives and I don't think there is a good or a bad right or wrong to choosing one over the other.
[17:47] But only you can truly know what you want and why you want it.
[17:56] I am getting to a point right now in my life where I have done inner work and I've done the work to overcome some of my most severe stages in my life where I was depressed and anxious and had really bad social anxiety and panic attacks.
[18:17] I don't have those anymore.
[18:19] With this,
[18:20] this journey of self care and you can hear it in my voice,
[18:25] I am just,
[18:28] I have more conviction and I have less tolerance for bullshit and that has what has made the difference between me being anxious and second guessing and self doubting myself all the time and me being able to actually enjoy my life.
[18:45] And what I realized about what I crave and actually truly love the things that actually light me up inside,
[18:54] which are not money and power and fame.
[18:58] They are being,
[19:00] being able to go out and like connect with my friends.
[19:05] They're being able to go out and dance and have fun,
[19:10] connect with the people that I've connected through art and like see them and just play with them and,
[19:19] and dance and create and sing and all of this.
[19:23] That is what makes my life so awesome.
[19:28] Like, it's not,
[19:29] it's not when I am speaking at an event,
[19:35] it's not when I am even like coaching.
[19:41] All of those are great.
[19:43] But what makes my life awesome is when I can be super present with the people that I love and when I can enjoy being alive in nature or enjoy just eating like some super good food and having the freedom to do that and also having the boundaries to,
[20:13] to keep away the energies that try to suck me in or the people who try to take advantage of my kindness,
[20:24] you know, whatever it is to constantly take my attention away from the things that I love by sabotaging it.
[20:34] In the past I have let people sabotage my happiness.
[20:38] I've let people sabotage my life through manipulation.
[20:43] And I just don't let people do that anymore. I think out of all the things that have helped me in my healing journey, setting those boundaries has been the most important.
[20:56] Yes, the,
[20:58] the detoxing and the Ayurveda and the meditation and the yoga and all those were tools that helped.
[21:05] But ultimately if I didn't set boundaries with those tools, they would have been become the same energy sucking distractions that other things have also become.
[21:20] Because it's not about the tools,
[21:23] it's about you.
[21:24] Right? And it's about how you interact with the world.
[21:28] Okay,
[21:29] so I realized going to the mindvalley conference and several other initiatives last year and this goes back to the people who are like, you can have it all, you can have infinite growth, you can make more money again, I can't knock wanting more money,
[21:52] but when that becomes the end all be all, there's something missing.
[21:57] And I did end up being swept up by this you can have it all mentality for a long time. But the thing is the people who are really,
[22:08] that's the only message that they have and the only thing that they can sell is that when they are only fixated on that, there's no other substance behind it.
[22:19] And a lot of the people who have made their message that you can just be more wealthy and more successful,
[22:31] I find them to be really insecure.
[22:36] And because there is an inherent insecurity in constantly wanting more.
[22:44] It means that, like, you can actually stay still and be content.
[22:51] And,
[22:52] you know, if we pull it back to the yoga sutras and looking at the I the idea that in order to have a peaceful mind, there's this concept in the yoga sutras called santosha,
[23:07] you need to be able to maintain contentment in order to have this peaceful, stable mind.
[23:17] And so if you're constantly grasping for more because you don't feel like you have enough,
[23:24] and this is the trap is like organizations like mindvalley prey on people who don't have enough and tell them that they can have more by giving them this promise of you can have infinitely more.
[23:37] But it really is is not about that.
[23:40] It's about having exactly what you want and being able to have the ability to strategize so precisely what that might look like and how to get there that you are able to take the steps towards that.
[23:55] But again,
[23:57] you just have so many other outside voices being like, no,
[24:01] that's not how you get successful. No,
[24:03] you need to be able to make this much money and have this house and like, have this success marker, all of these external factors,
[24:12] and we don't question it.
[24:14] And I think that's a fatal flaw.
[24:17] So that brings me to another point,
[24:20] is that you really need to practice discernment when it comes to taking people on as mentors and gurus and being somebody who considers themselves a mentor.
[24:34] I want to warn people about choosing your mentor.
[24:39] You don't have to make someone your mentor just because you're paying them. You don't have to just because someone has taught you a skill.
[24:48] Right. Doesn't make them your mentor or your guru.
[24:52] You don't have to take on their values. You don't have to take on their perspectives on life unless you truly resonate with them.
[24:59] But there are many people who can teach you skills and they might have completely clashing values.
[25:07] And I have had many teachers where I was there to learn a skill and they expected me to also admire them as gurus and to take on their values.
[25:23] And I've had way too many encounters where they assumed that I would just be blindly loyal and that if they overstepped their boundaries or disrespected me that I would just stay.
[25:42] But you get to choose who you include in your life or not.
[25:48] And that could be teachers, friends, whatever.
[25:53] But if you're going to really take someone on as a mentor,
[25:57] really think about if their values align with yours and avoid the cult of personality.
[26:08] I Will say very, very bluntly,
[26:13] I hate groupies,
[26:16] fan girls and fanboys.
[26:18] Like, I'd rather be surrounded by people who are doing the work and are arguing against me and are questioning me than to be surrounded by yes men and women.
[26:34] I would rather be surrounded by people who are willing and value themselves enough that they feel comfortable in working with me.
[26:46] And they don't see themselves as under me.
[26:49] Because the more that I am in this self help wellness sphere,
[26:55] the more that I see this trap, and we see it now,
[26:59] what the repercussions are in people like Deepak Chopra and like this whole Jeffrey Epstein thing and how so many people are so disappointed and heartbroken when they see someone like Deepak show up in the Epstein files.
[27:16] But the thing is,
[27:19] we have this tendency as humans for some reason to be like, oh, this person is so great and they can do no wrong. But the thing is, we can all do wrong and we should not be putting people on pedestals.
[27:35] And when we do put people on pedestals is because we have trouble taking responsibility for our own lives.
[27:44] We're not actually taking the actions that we need to be taking to change them. And so we are like, oh, okay, rather than actually doing the thing that I need to do to change,
[27:52] I'm just gonna be like the follower of this great person and they can represent what I believe without me having to change anything.
[28:00] But you know what that gets you is nowhere.
[28:03] Nowhere you wanna be. Except when your so called guru falls from grace,
[28:08] so do you.
[28:09] Right?
[28:09] And that's why there's such an ego hurt when people find out, oh,
[28:13] you know, my guru's not who I thought they were.
[28:16] Because you take it personally, because you haven't done the work to actually elevate yourself.
[28:23] So that has become a rant. But again,
[28:26] like I said, today's theme is since so few people are paying attention,
[28:31] I'm going to say what I want and I'm going to continue to advocate for people to think for themselves.
[28:40] So coming up in the season,
[28:43] I'm gonna have a few other wonderful guests. But I also hope to be on here speaking frankly as I am now.
[28:49] And what I would love for you to do as listeners is just let me know that you're listening.
[28:54] If you hate it, let me know because I welcome that as much as I do people who love it.
[29:02] And you know,
[29:04] I honor all opinions.
[29:08] So thank you so much for listening today to my rant. Thank you for listening and for tuning in to from the Ashes podcast. If you are a new listener, go back and just listen to some of these amazing guests that I've had in the past couple of weeks and I really look forward to speaking with you soon.
[29:30] Have a couple of big projects that I'm shipping out.
[29:34] One is the book that I contributed to called The Mastery Code Volume 2, headed by Julie Christensen,
[29:42] who's based out of Canada.
[29:44] And it is like a chicken soup for the soul, but with a mental health focus. And in there I talk about my personal story of how I overcame debilitating self esteem and how I learned the the healing structure and powers of Ayurveda and how that really has elevated my life.
[30:04] And then I have redone my entire website. So if you go to the vibrantvisionary.com you can check out some of the other stuff that I have going on.
[30:15] I am currently growing the Vibrant Visionary Collective, which is the coaching mastermind that I run throughout the year.
[30:24] And if you're truly interested in shifting your life,
[30:28] I encourage you to book a Vibrant Vision session with me.
[30:34] This is where we get to parse out a little bit of what it is that you want to create in your life. And we will create a roadmap together to see what the steps you are what the steps are that you need to take in order to get there.
[30:47] Like I said, it's not about having more and infinitely more and arbitrary markers of success is architecting what exactly it is that you want to create in your life and how we could do that and only that.
[31:03] All right, thank you so much for tuning in and I will see you next time.
[31:08] Thanks for tuning in to from the Ashes. If this episode sparked something in you,
[31:13] remember your evolution matters and we're rooting for you every step of the way.
[31:19] For coaching, community and free resources to help you rise into your full potential,
[31:23] visit thevibrantvisionary.com and download the Vibrant Visionary Blueprint, your free guide to reclaim your energy, clarity and creative fire.
[31:33] If you love this episode, please share it with a friend or tag me Valerie on Instagram ibrantvisionary Val, I'd love to hear what resonated for you.
[31:43] Until next time, keep rising.
